Saturday, October 30, 2004

okay.so i failed.gave up in e end to the temptation of my bed.realised it was useless to go against the acts of nature so i turned in before accomplishing my goal.well,but still quite satisfactory coz i finished discharge..n means i can finish contract today..only stupid remedies is left... =) gonna pia OB later..realise i've neglected it...

well,just recalling back what a close fren of mine said the other day...it really struck me as to how pple observe me...she was telling me that although i still look like kelvin and sound like him,the kelvin before the whole unhappy saga with that ger and the kelvin now is somehow different...she observed that there's a sad side of me even though i may look cheerful now..yes,i agree with her...i may look nonchalant at times,joking w e rest of the pple around me...but thinking back still hurts a great deal...my heart flinches everytime i enter hall 12,yearning to see her and yet my head's telling me to stop...as i walk past her room,i think back to just no so long ago when i was stillwaiting inside waiting for her to finish her dance prac..those were the days when i thought we shared something in common...yeah,thought is the key operative word here.turned out to be just a beautiful story she painted with me as the lead actor abeit being a clown.i don't mind losing to a better guy.but to think she had no interest from the start strikes another blow to my heart.i mean,as another fren had said she can't believe anyone can do that to someone who's so nice...nice-just ask all those around me how i normally treat them.to people that matter to me,i will go out of the way to ensure that they are happy so imagine what i will do for the woman i like??i love my frens and at least i feel appreciated.on e other hand,i feel so unappreciated by her now...i mean,if i really mattered to her,she will at least make an effort to keep me as a fren...this only shows that i was just another play thing to her...as what e rest said,just another broken heart that has been broken...perhaps,it doesn't matter how many broken hearts she break on the way..it will inflate her ego i guess...but let's give her the benefit of the doubt...i know she has handled it badly..but is there a better way of handling this anyone?may be she's just having fun?may be she did not know that she would hurt so many people?may be...may be...quit the may be's....i should not help her find excuses...at least i know that i have frens who care and are w me through this period...even jocelyn came to console me when she saw my nick last nite..damm touched..recommended me song by simple plan-welcome into my life...haven really had a chance to hear it...so mp3 of this anyone??do tag if u do have this song..quite a long entry today...at e end of this,thank u for reading this damm long entry..gonna start breach and remedies soon...so cya~

posted by Boring old me @ 10/30/2004 10:43:00 AM

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